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What are we fighting for?
When I look around at people exchanging viewpoints, I notice that it almost always devolves to nothing more than fighting: attack, defend, counter-attack. And no, I don't mean arguing. I mean disrespectful, win at any cost, break the other guy down to build yourself up verbal warfare.
Forgive and forgive again
How were you taught about forgiveness? I remember the adage “forgive and forget” being used often when I was a child. Although this came with no further instruction, I remember liking the idea.
Caught in a funk
Just now, as I continue to work on a blog post I began writing almost two weeks ago, I recognize I’ve been in a bit of a funk. Nothing drastic, but I am aware that I have not been spending quality time grounding myself.
Daily practices
Each moment of every day we perform actions which, when put together, make up who we are. The vast majority are rooted somewhere outside our momentary awareness, guided by all the experiences, knowledge, and feelings we have acquired up to this point.
Transforming relationships
When I was in college, I worked for what seemed like an eternity as a waiter to pay the bills. The flexibility, high pay relative to other entry-level positions, and especially the social climate were extremely attractive to me fresh out of high school.
Nice guys finish last
For the last few years, I had a close friend in my life who has been waging a war against being “nice.” He would become annoyed whenever I exhibited this particular behavior, and it often left me feeling judged and rejected. How could somebody tell me that I was wrong to be nice when all I was trying to do was treat people with respect?
Pride and gratitude
I’ve spent a good amount of time in my life believing that I could or should be working to a point where I no longer feel anger. Spiritually, I’ve believed anger to be a selfish emotion used to get what it wants by force.
Resentment
While being good for nothing may or may not be true about war, I can say with certainty that it isn’t about anger. Anger gives us information that we can use to understand how to protect ourselves.
Anger - What is it good for?
I’ve spent a good amount of time in my life believing that I could or should be working to a point where I no longer feel anger. Spiritually, I’ve believed anger to be a selfish emotion used to get what it wants by force.
Plan a holiday the whole family can enjoy
Getting together with family over the holidays is something we both look forward to and dread. Depending on your family relationships, you’ll probably feel more of one than the other!
Converse for understanding, not agreement
It’s election season and our country is as divided as ever. Each cycle, watching the candidates attack each other is like watching a good reality tv show. Critical messages insulting the opposition are more commonplace than ones that actually relate to the issues. Somehow, this has also become the way we communicate with each other.
Impacts of distance learning on high schoolers
The effects of the coronavirus pandemic continue to disrupt our daily lives. With cases back on the rise, it looks like this may continue for quite some time. And as we all focus on staying afloat financially during this time, our kids are experiencing quite a disruption of their own.
Think back
One of the most valuable exercises that can be done to understand our reaction to our teen is to look at our beliefs and values that formed as a result of that time in our own lives. To do this effectively, we must be as objective as possible and this can be tricky.
Navigating uncertainty
In our lives, uncertainty is most often associated with fear. When we don’t know what will happen, our minds can run amok and, if left unchecked, can lead to regular thoughts of what we imagine will be the worst possible outcome.
Encourage instead of shame
When I think of the best coaches, mentors, and bosses I’ve had in my life, they’ve all created a balance between being encouraging and maintaining accountability. In the environment this creates, I felt safe to make mistakes but also driven to be better.
Be mindful of your words
When you become a parent, you are thrust into a relationship with a person who constantly needs you and from whom you are not able to take much space. Add to this that one of the major jobs of parenthood is to provide guidance to ensure your child grows up in the best way possible and it’s no wonder that sometimes words can come out in harsh ways.
Setting boundaries with kindness and compassion
With the holidays behind us and the realization, at least here in Bozeman, that winter will be around for quite a bit longer, I like to reflect on what changes during this long, cold, dark season.
Be more you so they can be more them
So your kid is a teenager. You’ve moved past the days of worrying about skinned knees and runny noses and been thrust into those of coping with irrational emotions and a fierce need for independence.
Practice forgiveness with your teen
To practice is to “perform (an activity) or exercise (a skill) repeatedly or regularly in order to improve.” To me, there is no healthier way to view my life than as a series of practices. From this perspective, I am regularly reminded that I'm not perfect and that I’m not supposed to be.
Stop fighting with your teenager
It amazes me how often I hear that this is the hardest time to grow up as a teenager. The agreed upon culprit: social media. While I do think that growing up in a digital world adds novel challenges to the period of adolescence I’m amazed because, as far as I can tell, it’s always been tough to develop through the teen years.